A Fractured Grim Fairytale – If I Were A Socialist Dictator

Once upon a time there was a want to be socialist dictator by the name of Mao Shortbum. He had a dastardly sidekick by the name of Vlad Bowenstein. Mao and Vlad dreamed of taking over and running a huge country. They set their sites on a magical place called Australand.

Mao and Vald often fantasised about what it would be like to control all the money in Australand. But try as they might they couldn’t figure out how they could steal the money. You see, Australand was a nation where most of the people were very suspicious of those who wanted to control everything. Most of the people worked very hard, and they saved their money and they had wisely invested. They lived in nice houses and drove nice cars and they dreamed of the time when they could stop working and enjoy the fruits of their labor.

But people like that made it very hard for want-to-be socialist dictators like Mao and Vlad. You see, they thought if they could control all the money they could control all the people. So Mao and Vlad put their heads together, and they came up with a cunning plan. (Cue the evil dictator music)

The first thing they did was to divide the nation into two; rich, moderately rich and not so rich. Then they launched a class war. Mao and Vlad did this by turned the not so rich against the moderately rich claiming the moderately rich were the enemies of the people. The not to rich were so engaged by this they didn’t notice that Mao and Vlad were planning to make them less rich.

Vlad said to Mao tax is the key, that’s how we get people’s money. Mao was delighted. Vlad said it can’t just be little taxes if we want to control all the people.  We have to make it huge taxes …$200Billion in taxes. Mao was so excited he jumped for joy thinking about all the things he could do with the money. But he said to Vlad but I want more what else can we do. So Vlad put on his thinking cap.

You see, Vlad realised people in Australand were clever, they’d read about socialist dictators and never wanted to live under a socialist dictatorship. These clever people who were now moderately rich (and the enemies of the people thanks to Mao and Vlad) had worked hard to make themselves as independent as they could of government handouts. Vlad knew, that it was handouts that enabled dictators to control people. Vlad also knew these self-funded moderately rich people would ruin Mao and Vlad’s grand plan. If Vlad was to get control of  their money he’d have to crush them. But how to do that was the challenge? So Vlad went away to work on a plan…

Vlad was so excited that he rushed off to Mao’s castle. “Mao, Mao I have a plan.”Let’s make the moderately rich poor by taking away their income!! Mao was all ears. Vlad explained if he took away the franking credits of those people who didn’t pay any tax then those people would only have two options. They could live on less money and be really miserable or they could move their money somewhere else where Mao and Vlad could eventually get their hands on it. But Mao wasn’t convinced.

Mao said but what about the not so rich who have shares, or the Unions (who were Mao and Vlad’s friends) they will be very angry with us? Vlad explained we’ll exempt those people.  Mao was happy with that. Mao then confirmed with Vlad, that Vlad’s plan was to force the moderately rich who controlled their own money to move their money into Union Super Funds or be poor. Vlad confirmed that was correct.  “That’s a brilliant plan Vlad,” said Mao.

Then Vlad said but Mao you haven’t heard the best bit. Once all of that money is under the control of our friends the Union Super Funds we’ll then crush the funds managed by Banks and Insurance Companies and we’ll get control of their money as well. When that happens we’ll nationalise superannuation and you and I will control all of the money. With that Mao went into raptures thinking about the power he would have. Vlad beamed because he knew Mao really needed him….

It was at that point I awoke from my sleep and chuckled to myself, if I were a socialist dictator that’s what I’d do but it was just a dream (some might say nightmare) that would never happen in Australia. Or would it?

The Conservatives Lament

They live in the vain hope that the side will be wiped out and from the ashes will rise a new side brimming with their vision of what it should be; back to the good old days. They’re determined to do everything in their power to make it happen; to burn the house to the ground. But that is not how it works. 

All we’ll end up with is Labor for at least two terms. A reversal of the hard-earned gains we are seeing both economically and jobs wise. Debt spiralling out of control. Unions pulling the strings, and once they get their tentacles in, they will be very hard to dislodge. There is a high risk of open borders as leaders appease the far left. There will be a reversal of the gains made in reducing welfare and a mess so immense that no Conservative Government will get it back under control in 30 years. Just look at what two Conservative Govt’s have faced after only six years!!! What we have is far from perfect, but the alternative is apocalyptic.‬

Many cling to the dream of the Phoenix rising from the ashes of destruction. The story tells of a long-lived bird that cyclically regenerates or is otherwise born again. There are others who believe Phoenix dies in a show of flames and combustion to rise again. 

Well, I hate to break it to them, but the Phoenix rising from the ashes is a myth. 

Seriously, when was the last time you saw a Phoenix? Correct, never they don’t exist. The bird went up in flames, never to be seen again. Just as the Lamentable Conservatives’ vision of a new world will be should they get their way. Be very wary of false Prophets who tell you otherwise. ‬ 

Australia Day Revised - 2018

I wrote this back in 2017. Nothing much has changed in fact it has arguably got a bit worse but the resolve of many of us to fight this BS is strong and that gives me hope.

Given the usual Australia Day dog-fights that kick-off around this time of year. I've an idea. It's radical, I admit. But, it seems to fit with the attitudes expressed by some in our community. 

Sadly, Australia Day has turned into a day of division rather than a day to celebrate all the good things about us and our country. So, perhaps we should just get rid of it. Change the focus. I offer up some suggestions for your consideration.

1. Let’s Have A Blue Day (a good old Aussie free-for-all)
2. I Hate All Non-Australians Day (this might suit those who hurl abuse from behind the anonymity of an avatar on social media) 
3. Larrikin Day (good old practical joking and skylarking around)
4. National Fools Day (perhaps we could even shift the day to April 1st. This is for all of us who understand our history and tradition and who are fed up with self-serving activism)  

In taking a new approach we create a day when we celebrate the sport of belting the c..p out of each other; physically and verbally. The events can take any form; protests, sit-ins, social media storms. The only rules; no one dies and keep rioting to a minimum. A few broken arms and bruises are OK. Offence will be highly scored.

For the less violent, flag burning and defacing buildings is a good option. The Greens are usually particularly excited about this. In fact they ran a number of flag burning events in 2017. We can award points for flag burning creativity. Flag burning dances offer a range of options. Then we have defacing buildings; style, language and content will form the basis of the ratings for this category. Signs are a favourite. But don't forget, the sign holder is equally as important as the message. The more gormless looking the holder is, the better in my experience. So possums, put on your creative hats. Start planning for this one.

For those who prefer religious targets like attacking Muslims and Jews (as an example) I was thinking of the Aussie Patriots participation in his. I thought perhaps pig head throwing might have appeal. Although, as an animal lover I'd prefer if they used their own heads. We must include the lunatic fringe within the Muslim community. I was thinking of including a video section. Story lines threatening death to infidels could provide hours of enjoyment; special effects and language is key.

Those who prefer a more physical approach. Actually bashing people up (that includes groups on all sides) perhaps we could add an award for the most creative face masks. The little darlings do love hiding behind the mask. The Aussie Flag mask is always well regarded within this particular group. Attack techniques add another dimension. Weapons of choice of utmost importance. Plus of course the numbers arrested and hospitalised will be taken into consideration by the judges. All that good stuff. The boys will be boys contribution.  

Of course, there are many of us who do rejoice in our Aussism. Plus, we also embrace our diversity and what that brings to us as individuals and to our nation. We can still take part, never fear. We can be the spectators. Cast you mind back to days of old and jousting competitions. On one side you had the reds. On the other side the blues. Then you had the spectators. That’s us. We can boo and cheer to our hearts content. It's our job to award points to the participants in the various sporting arenas. 

Yes, this is a pile of rubbish. Juvenile sarcasm even. But, so is the way far too many carry on. Bullying, hurling abuse left right and centre. Attacking anyone who has the temerity to pop their heads up and say we are better than this.

As I listen to the words of this song, I think to myself this what we are. What we should represent. It's only a certain type of person who tries to stop us. I feel very strongly that we can't let them do that.  

"We Are Australian" hit the link and really listen to the words.

“We are one, but we are many

And from all the lands on earth we come

We'll share a dream

And sing with one voice

I am, you are

We are Australian” 

We should embrace all Australian's whether they were born on these shores or not, who are proud to be called Australian and who to celebrate Australia Day. After all it's what inclusion is all about.

As for those who don't want to be part of this. I really don't care what your circumstances are and that includes those claiming indigenous heritage if you don't want to celebrate with the rest of us then would you be kind enough to please just Sod Off. We will be kicking off a Crown Funding campaign to buy you a ticket out of here.

Happy Australia Day ...